Post 5.16 - Grief in the Digital Age

I never met Michael Walsh in person. Our first connection was on LiveJournal, some time in late 2004 or early 2005. He was a friend of a friend, as most of my contacts on LJ have always been. His comments to a friend's journal piqued my interest, or my comments piqued his. In any case, we started reading the other's blog/journal, and this was how we got to know each other.

I learned he was a librarian, living in Detroit with his partner in a house they owned together. He was originally from Ohio, and had an older sister named Ann. He loved food and sharing "food porn". He would take trips to see friends and it would be as much about what he ate as who he went to see. He was very social, and his companionship was valued by all who knew him. My view into his world and into the person he was came solely through LiveJournal at first, and then in 2008, through Facebook. I knew about his co-workers, the people he admired, the people he loved, the trials and tribulations of his relationship with his partner and those who came after, and what little things made him smile. We were both teenagers of the 1980s, so there was this wealth of common ground provided by pop culture for us to reflect upon.

He was always upbeat, no matter what was going on. He was always supportive if there was something going on with anyone else that might be considered trying or difficult, even if only to the person involved. He wasn't afraid to let you know that he cared, and it was always genuine.

But here I am, someone who never met him mourning his loss yesterday. I am one among many.

The word came first from another friend of Mike's who had posted a picture of him, noting his loss. Then a review of his FB profile as more messages came pouring in. No details, just shared grief, from real-world and online contacts alike. Many who knew him in the real world changed their profile pictures and banners to include his image, creating something of a viral memorial.

All relationships in life are what we make them. There are people reading this now who are people I know in the real world, people I once knew in the real world, and people I have never met. I have "online friends" that I may never meet, but in the final analysis, the feelings of friendship and closeness to some where the effort has been made is no less real or tangible as those I will see and interact with away from the screen. In some ways, online friendships can become even more intimate, since we generate personal content out of our hearts and minds in often the purest of forms. We share things more impulsively and instantaneously, both wisely and unwisely at times. But in any case, lives are touched. We cheer for each other, we laugh together, and we take the journey together, even if it is only in text and information we share.

Michael and I were not particularly close -- he was just a good person, and the thought of him made me smile. I wanted him to succeed in all he wanted and to live a long and happy life. Even as someone I never met, his death was shock, and I could feel the very real grief just below the surface, wondering if it was appropriate that I should feel this way. But Michael's life touched mine and I cared. That's all it comes down to.

And I know the greater world is diminished with Michael's loss. We need more people to make us smile as easily as he did.

Cross-posted to Facebook and LiveJournal on my personal accounts.
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Post 2.7 - American Dreams

This article isn't going to make me any friends. In fact, I might even lose a few readers. I know it will surprise a great many of you. In any case, I urge you to read the entire article, and engage me in the comments if you disagree. That's what this experiment is supposed to be about. On May 14th, Arizona State University held their hispanic convocation, graduating Latino students. Many of these students are illegal immigrants, and were concerned about their prospects following graduation as they would not only have difficulty finding work in this economy, but by law, are not permitted to work. Many of these students explained to local news reporters that they were brought here as children by their parents, and had no choice in the matter. The same week, the DREAM Act was re-introduced in Congress, and if passed, would give these students a path to citizenship. The DREAM act website lists the following criteria for conditional permanent residency, should the act be passe
Read more

On Free Speech

Much has been made in the last year or two regarding free speech in the United States. The United States is one of the few countries where the freedom of speech is codified in the constitution. It might surprise many Americans to know that Europeans do not enjoy the same latitude. For one example, in France, it is illegal to deny the Jewish holocaust. However, in the United States, the right to free speech is also not clearly understood. Many colleges and universities, most notably the University of California at Berkeley, have been in the news for their response to controversial speakers coming to their campuses. UC-Berkeley has invited then disinvited speakers across the spectrum, and in cases where they have not, there has sometimes been violent protest against the presence of these speakers. I strongly disagree with violence of any kind in response to an individual speaker, but I certainly understand and support the right to protest. There are some in this discourse who do no
Read more

Post 1.2 - Veggie Tales

Part of the way I have tried to adjust my diet is adding significantly more vegetables. They are a great source of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and texture, and some of the recipes can be heavenly. I recently made a Moroccan dish called a tagine, which was comprised completely of vegetables and fruits - parsnips, turnips, onion, carrots, apricots and prunes, plus a collection of spices. A tagine is the name of the cooking vessel, but also the name of the dish - although in my case, I prepared it using a slow cooker. At 131 calories per serving, it makes a filling, satisfying, low-calorie side dish, as well as a small meal in its own right, if you so choose. I like the recipe as written , but my mother has asked me to make it without the cayenne pepper. It takes a little time, so I told her I would make it without it the next time, but if I didn't like it, I would go back to making it the regular way - cuz it's for me . :-P Generally speaking, though, the challenge for me has
Read more