Facets of Our Lives

A Facets Reader asked me to do an article in response to this Op-Ed piece from The New York Times . In a nutshell, the author of this article, Rich Benjamin, advocates an LGBTQ boycott of all heterosexual weddings this summer. Benjamin, a gay man, believes that such a boycott would drive home the point that while the LGBTQ community has allies among heterosexuals, they are not fighting hard enough for marriage equality, and LGBTQ people should not be asked to participate in an event which they are specifically excluded from having themselves as a matter of law in all but five US states and the District of Columbia. But in my view, the author contradicts himself as the column progresses. As it happens, the only wedding to which I've been invited this summer is a lesbian one. I am also an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church, specifically to perform marriages for LGBTQ individuals (although I wouldn't discriminate against heterosexuals who asked me). In jurisdict...

Memorial Day kicks off the summer. Many of us will be enjoying barbecues, picnics, or even a first trip to the beach. Initially, I was going to make this post several recipes, but it occurred to me that my favorite recipe is several recipes in one. Stuffed Hamburgers . These are easy to make, and the basic idea is to stuff your hamburgers with the ingredients you typically love to top your hamburger with -- sauteed onions, sauteed mushrooms, cheese, mustard, barbecue sauce, etc. Basically, take your quantity of ground beef and season it with a little onion powder. Set it aside. You can sautee a quantity of mushrooms and/or a quantity of onions. Slice a block of your favorite cheese so you have small pieces for stuffing. Set aside maybe a 1/4 cup at a time of spicy mustard, dijon mustard, barbecue sauce, or any of your favorite condiment. Form the ground beef into medium to large balls and make a well in the center with your thumb, then put whatever filling you'd like i...

Recently, a reviewer of timeshare properties talked about locations that specifically did not have provisions for "family activities", as he and his wife were childless. He was accused of hating children and being an inappropriate reviewer. Nothing could be more inaccurate, and it was a knee-jerk response. I have a lot of friends with small children. All your kids are great, I'm sure. But there are some places that kids are not supposed to be. It's not about not liking kids; it's about not being obligated to safeguard your kids, tolerate their tantrums, or play peek-a-boo against my will. I can count on one hand the number of children I have encountered in my travels who behaved appropriately. I can count on one finger the number of parents who have made a point of apologizing to me when their children did not (and I thanked him very sincerely for making that effort, as I'd never encountered it before or since). And it's everywhere. Restaurants. Hotel...

Part of the heartbreak of having a dog or a cat is watching them get older so much faster than we do, and it seems to come on quite suddenly. Our oldest dog is 15, and in recent years, she's developed arthritis in her back, which has had the collateral effect of making her back legs weaker than they used to be. She's been through oral surgery recently, and it was while she was coming out of the anesthesia that it seemed her arthritis was at its worst. It was hard to watch -- she was clearly upset by the betrayal of her body, and her spirit is normally lively and energetic. Generally, she's fine. She takes thyroid and allergy medication, but otherwise, she does well from day-to-day. This past weekend was an exception, when her arthritis flared up enough to make virtually any position painful, her back legs weak, and a limp appear in her right front leg. She's taken to clinging to me, specifically, when she's in distress like this. I keep her wacky packmates away ...

With all the Rapture talk of the last few weeks, we nearly left May behind without talking about the most important holiday season of the year! May is National Masturbation Month ! Well, in the US -- although those of you in Canada, Germany, India, Singapore, Malaysia, and other countries around the world who I know are reading, you are more than welcome to join in the fun. Over the centuries, there have been many misconceptions about self celebration, but in modern times, we've come to know (if you'll pardon the pun) that it is healthy on a number of levels. Now, this is not an area that many people have discussed with me. I mean, there has been some  talk about it in my social groups, but it is still something discussed for humor and embarrassment more than anything else. And that's unfortunate. And interestingly, in the few conversations I've had where people asked for advice or were worried about something, there continue to be gaps in people's knowledge a...

This article isn't going to make me any friends. In fact, I might even lose a few readers. I know it will surprise a great many of you. In any case, I urge you to read the entire article, and engage me in the comments if you disagree. That's what this experiment is supposed to be about. On May 14th, Arizona State University held their hispanic convocation, graduating Latino students. Many of these students are illegal immigrants, and were concerned about their prospects following graduation as they would not only have difficulty finding work in this economy, but by law, are not permitted to work. Many of these students explained to local news reporters that they were brought here as children by their parents, and had no choice in the matter. The same week, the DREAM Act was re-introduced in Congress, and if passed, would give these students a path to citizenship. The DREAM act website lists the following criteria for conditional permanent residency, should the act be passe...

I am putting together a list of recipes for the Memorial Day holiday. In the US, this is a day for barbecues, picnics, and the unofficial beginning of the summer season. For the rest of you, it's just Monday. :-D But if you are planning to observe the holiday and would like a recipe for a particular cuisine, let me know below. I'll be posting the Memorial Day post on Saturday, so you'll have time to grab a few items for Monday. :-D

Dessert. The diet killer. Or at least, a diet disruption. Whether it be a slice of cake or a scoop or two of ice cream, it can do you in. I had to find a healthier option. Luckily, I love fruit - especially during the summer months. It's cool, it's fresh, and it's good for you. So here is a recipe I found on AllRecipes.com ( link ) which incorporates easily obtained ingredients. It's nutritious and filling, and you can make it in 15 minutes or less. Refreshing Fruit Salad  (yields 2 good-sized servings - easily divides for four, or double the recipe for a larger group) 1 (11 ounce) can mandarin oranges, drained 1 (8 ounce) can pineapple chunks, drained 1 medium ripe banana, sliced 1/2 cup halved seedless grapes 3 tablespoons mayonnaise 3 tablespoons sour cream 1 tablespoon honey 1/4 cup chopped walnuts 1/4 cup flaked coconut Before I begin, the walnuts and coconut, in my opinion, are optional. It is perfectly fine with just the fruit and dressing. Also...

Ok, so we're coming to the end of week 6 of this blog, believe it or not. So I'm looking for feedback... likes? dislikes? Looking for more of a particular topic? Less of another? A new topic? Questions? Suggestions? Lemme have it. Comment below or e-mail me at facetsblog@gmail.com .

One of the important things you should know about me if we ever meet is to leave your pets at home or in another room. Not because I don't like animals, but I tend to prefer them to humans -- and if you have a goofy, playful, crazy dog, an affectionate cat who wants me to carry him/her, or a bird that will talk to me, well -- you've lost me completely. Amusement park have a petting zoo? Leave me at the zoo with a bunch of quarters so I can buy food for the goats and I'll see you in a few hours. This is why we couldn't have just one dog. We have three, ranging in age from 15 to almost 10 (his birthday is next month). Each of their adoptions was a different set of circumstances, but all of them came from shelters. So this week, I want to talk a little about the importance of shelters and rescue organizations. It is heartbreaking how we treat animals as a society, as a country, even as a species. Some days, I really can't take it and I have to force myself to avoid...

Publishing a few hours early. In 2009, MTV Canada began airing a 30-minute program called 1 girl 5 gays   ( US site link ). Initially, it was in the form of a free-flowing discussion based upon selected viewer questions. By episode 8, they moved to a format of 20 questions about love and sex, asked to the 5-man group of 20-something panelists and moderated by show host Aliya-Jasmine Sovani. In 2010, MTV Canada's sister channel, Logo, began airing episodes in the US. Currently, new episodes air in Canada on Fridays at 11pm Eastern, and in the US on Mondays at 11pm Eastern (Logo also airs older episodes each night, except Fridays). The new US episodes are about 10-12 weeks behind the Canadian episodes, except for special occasions, like the recent appearance of Jonathan D. Lovitz of Logo's Setup Squad on the panel. The concept behind the show is to give viewers a fly-on-the-wall participation in conversations that we might have or have had with our friends about any variety ...

On May 9th, Republicans in the Texas Senate approved a bill that included an amendment which allows college and university students to carry guns on campus. This applies only to public colleges and universities, and the measure was passed only when attached to a budget bill -- it had failed when they tried to pass it as a standalone piece of legislation. Supporters say that allowing students to have guns will result in fewer college shootings and fewer deaths because students will be able to defend themselves, and there will be a deterrent if a prospective shooter thinks there will be returned fire. Ok, Texas. Just how stupid is your state, exactly? Please feel free to secede at any time. And I apologize to my liberal and progressive Texan friends, but your state is hopelessly stupid. You need to move. Do I need to talk about education in Texas? First, the Texas Board of Education approves changes to public school textbooks (and therefore, the curriculum, not only for their own...

One of the diets I tried a few years back was the South Beach Diet, which actually worked well for me, but part of the diet was to avoid Mexican food. Several diets actually agree that Mexican food is bad for you. It's too high in fat and too high in carbs. But it doesn't have to be. I love  Mexican food, so I had to figure out a way for this to work. First, you don't have to use beef, ground or otherwise. If you use chicken, you cut the fat and cholesterol. But how to cook it? How to keep things simple? In my last post, I talked about how I use my Food Saver to store and prepare meals, so I came up with a multi-step process for making chicken fajitas. You don't need a Food Saver to do this, but the overall principles are the same. You're going to come out of this with all the ingredients pre-made, and you'll just heat up what you need when you need it. First, you're going to make your own taco seasoning: 2 T chili powder 5 tsp paprika 4 1/2 tsp groun...

One of my hobbies is genealogy, and I've actually become quite good at it. It's interesting the things that you learn, and even more intriguing to consider the kinds of lives that our ancestors may have lived. I have been doing some level of research for most of my adult life, but really became more interested once the Internet Age began and it was possible to research online records in multiple countries and network with other family members, both known and discovered. The furthest back I can go right now is 29 generations prior to myself - parents to 27th-great-grandparents. I actually have identified two  of my 27th-great-grandfathers, but they were born about 75 years apart. How can this happen if they were in the same generation? Well, it's actually pretty simple. There can be great discrepancies in age between spouses as well as spouses' parents. For example, my great-grandmother was the youngest of eight children born over a stretch of 23 years, while her h...

In last week's pet post, I talked about the benefits of teaching my dog to poop on command, as it made traveling easier. Traveling with your pet, however, is a whole other topic. Dogs, in particular, like a change of scenery periodically, just as their humans do. My dogs like bodies of water and to splash, but they also just enjoy riding in the car. As I said last week, they have been from Boston to Phoenix, and to more US states and time zones than many of my friends. But this did take some doing. The map below represents all of the states where the dogs have been, either to spend the night or to "leave their mark" so to speak. :-) Scroll over the map with your mouse to learn our experiences by state. This application is created by interactive maps. You can also have your visited states map on your site. If you see this message, you need to upgrade your flash player. Make your visited states map HTML5 charts First, many hotels allow you to bring your pet...

You may have heard of something called the Seven Year Itch. It's not just a Marilyn Monroe movie. I am starting to wonder if it hasn't morphed to become a different time length. It may be a function of a midlife crisis, or it may be something else, but I am noticing a pattern. I know a lot of married people who are becoming a lot of separated and divorced people. The problems of each specific couple vary in description, but it comes back to a communication problem that appears to have been ongoing. Issues have been ignored until they can be ignored no longer; the two people have finally accepted that they have differing priorities, or more commonly, they can't live in the restrictive way they've previously accepted. And it's happening in the 15-25 year range, which is what I think really makes it feel strange. One would assume that if you made it that far, you'd figured out how to make things work, despite such differences. Which also makes it all a bit sc...

I watched an interesting panel discussion from Need to Know, which airs on PBS in the United States. The topic was " Why We're Still Discussing Women's Rights ", and addressed a variety of issues from equal pay in the workplace to reproductive rights to social perceptions by the generations. I found it interesting from the perspective of the things I don't perceive because I am a male, as well as the era in which I grew up and have spent time in the workforce. I also disagree with some of the perceptions, because at the risk of sounding sexist, I am not entirely clear what women want to see happen - because I have not only worked for women for most of my career, but female CEOs who made ridiculous amounts of money. And I do feel that men, particularly white men, do experience prejudice, discrimination, and blame for a lot of things, even those of us who have never had any control or power to set such conditions. I also feel that this is an accepted discriminatio...

The USFDA recommends a 2,000 calorie per day diet, but that is a baseline reflecting a certain activity level. Many of us who work behind a desk all day and do not get the proper exercise we should would probably gain weight at this level. Our kids, however, are an entirely different story, based on their ages, gender, as well as physical activity. It all becomes quite a balancing act, even before you consider the likes and dislikes of the entire crew. One of the other devices that I swear by (rather than swear at ) is my Food Saver, which allows me to vacuum seal leftovers. The biggest challenge for me in how I eat is not what I eat, but how much I eat, i.e., portion control. My doctors are frankly amazed that I am as healthy as I am, given my weight, but I really do eat a lot of good stuff. I don't sit and watch TV while picking at a family-sized bag of Doritos. I incorporate vegetables somehow, some way into every meal I can, including breakfast. But it's still a battl...

I admit it. I am one of those people who orders infomercial gadgets. I am drawn in by the idea of replacing a multitude of appliances with one simple device. I am hypnotized by promised savings of hundreds of dollars per month thanks to the efficiency the new device will offer my life. I am ready to lose weight by this new, healthy way of cutting the fat and calories, thanks to some fat-absorbing, fat-destroying, fat-free method of cooking. But I actually do  use these devices if they work. And some of them really do. We'll start with one of my first infomercial purchases - the Showtime Rotisserie Oven  from Ronco. Yes, the man responsible for spray-on hair, the pocket fisherman, and other unusual devices, Ron Popeil, created a cooking appliance, and his infomercial blanketed the airwaves for a number of years and snared me. But it is one of the BEST things I ever bought. It works exactly  as advertised, and the food is amazing. In the beginning, I used it for turke...