Post 3.7 - The Merry, Merry Month of May

With all the Rapture talk of the last few weeks, we nearly left May behind without talking about the most important holiday season of the year!

May is National Masturbation Month! Well, in the US -- although those of you in Canada, Germany, India, Singapore, Malaysia, and other countries around the world who I know are reading, you are more than welcome to join in the fun.

Over the centuries, there have been many misconceptions about self celebration, but in modern times, we've come to know (if you'll pardon the pun) that it is healthy on a number of levels. Now, this is not an area that many people have discussed with me. I mean, there has been some talk about it in my social groups, but it is still something discussed for humor and embarrassment more than anything else. And that's unfortunate.

And interestingly, in the few conversations I've had where people asked for advice or were worried about something, there continue to be gaps in people's knowledge about it.

  1. It's perfectly normal. It feels good, it doesn't have to end in orgasm, and you can learn a lot about what you like and don't like. This is particularly helpful and therapeutic for both sexes. Females who have difficulty reaching orgasm can determine what feels good and what doesn't and where the more sensitive areas of the body might be. Among younger males, premature ejaculation is a common problem, as masturbation can often be rushed as a clandestine operation. If males take the time to completely relax and use masturbation to learn to prolong a climax, they can solve their own issue without drugs or other interventions. In addition, males can take the time to get away from their penis and learn where else they like to be touched.
  2. Masturbation does not mean you love your partner any less. Many men and women report having self-love sessions independent of their partners, and for any number of reasons. Sometimes, your sex drives just don't match in intensity; maybe there isn't enough time to interact together as often as you'd like. Or, maybe you just enjoy the special set of sensations that only you are able to provide yourself. Orgasms relieve tension naturally, as well as give you an outlet for any private fantasy you may have about your partner, or even someone else -- giving you the ability to explore it with your mind without cheating in a monogamous relationship.
  3. Masturbation can be incorporated into your sex life with your partner. Not every sexual experience needs to include intercourse, and some people find it to be a real turn-on to watch their partner self-pleasure. In addition, watching your partner self-pleasure can be a valuable teaching experience as to what s/he likes where, when and how. If you're experienced, you've learned that not every trick works on everyone. If you're inexperienced, you need all the information you can get.
  4. You don't need anything but your imagination to masturbate. Well, and yourself. There is an entire industry built around self-love, from things that vibrate to various types of lubrication. These things can certainly be helpful and even fun, but all you really need is privacy and the ability to relax and enjoy.

    When it comes to sex toys, if you do choose to go that route, I would recommend against purchasing a device that does something another human is incapable of replicating, even if that person is a member of Cirque du Soleil. This includes yourself. While such devices may be effective, you don't want to become dependent on it over being with another person. Tongue flicking has a top speed, penises do not spin like a pinwheel, and no mouth can reach the suction power of a vacuum cleaner.
  5. You're never too old to masturbate. Your sex drive is your sex drive, and when the urge hits, the urge hits, whether you are 16 or 60. So run with it, if the timing is appropriate. Well, not run... you know what I mean.
  6. Men who have regular orgasms are at a lower risk for prostate issues. If you are single, or you and your partner have an irregular sex life, no reason you can't still enjoy yourself - it's good for you. Additionally, men produce sperm throughout their lifetime, and to put it bluntly, it has to be drained off periodically to make room for more. If you don't, you will experience a nocturnal emission, aka wet dream. This is not a damaging event, but it can certainly be inconvenient if you are a teenager on a sleepover or a businessman who fell asleep on a plane.
  7. Have a headache? An orgasm can cure it. While sexual arousal is associated with increased tension and blood pressure, the endorphins that accompany an orgasmic release are natural painkillers. There is also something to be said for spending time relaxing, clearing your mind, and just giving yourself that little release. It's a great stress-reducer.
  8. There is no disease or condition that will result from masturbation. Although you might get sore depending on frequency, lubrication (or lack thereof), or what you may be doing, you won't grow hair in new places or break anything.
So as we head into a long holiday weekend, feel free to give yourself a treat if you are so inclined. Not sure how? Looking for variety? Or something to try on your partner, females can visit (not safe for work) here, and males can visit (not safe for work) here.

And wash your hands.

Have a question or a suggestion for a future topic? E-mail me at


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